“Charlie!” Danny greeted loudly, pulling the other male into a hug. “You made it!”

“Yeah…” Charlie straightened his coat. “James here yet?”

Dougie shook his head, “No. I haven’t heard from him since the funeral, and that was about a year and a half ago.”

“I hope he makes it…” Charlie muttered.

*****

James stared at himself in the mirror, as if he were seeing himself for the first time. He’d expected himself to look a lot worse. Yet, he’d hardly done anything to try and retain his looks and figure, but somehow he had. Now he had to go meet up with the people he had inadvertently cut out of his life after Matt’s death.

*****

Dougie had been put on watch duty. The others had gone into the bar, and he was meant to be looking out for James. They all seemed confident that he was going to show. Dougie wasn’t so sure. He’d seen the look on the older boy’s face at the funeral where his long term boyfriend had been buried. He’d been crushed, Dougie could tell. Then he’s pretty much disappeared off the face of the Earth. “Who’re you looking for?” a familiar voice asked from beside him.

Dougie spun round, “Oh, my God! You made it!” He pulled the blond into a hug. “You’re here!”

James laughed over his shoulder, “Yeah… I said I would be, didn’t I?” Dougie broke the hug and held him at arms length. “Doug? What’re you doing?” he asked in confusion.

Dougie didn’t answer; he was too busy staring at James. He looked incredible. You’d never know that this was the guy who had spent the last nineteen months mourning over his dead boyfriend. His clear blue eyes were bright and lively, and he was staring at Dougie like the teenager had finally lost it. Dougie realized what he was doing and backed off. He turned towards the bar, “Let’s go in. The others are waiting.”

James nodded, and they headed in. “You got your lip pierced,” he commented. “It looks good. Suits you.”

“Thanks. I got it done about a year ago. Harry’s got his eyebrow and tongue pierced too.” Dougie spotted the others up at the bar. “Okay. Let’s go.”

*          *          *          *          *

James was watching Dougie across the table. The bassist was saying something, his eyes animated, waving his hands enthusiastically for effect. James wasn’t actually listening to what he was saying though. It had all become a dull roar in his ears. Dougie looked good. And he meant really good. James found himself wondering if the bassist’s old crush was still in effect. Well, he had time to find out… But neither of them were drinking, so he couldn’t blame in on the alcohol later. James needed to tease someone again, he was sick of feeling permanently sad and depressed. Matt wouldn’t want him to be like that. “Be right back,” Dougie suddenly said, motioning to his empty glass and standing up.

“Me too.” James followed him up to the bar. “Why aren’t you drinking?” he asked bluntly, leaning on the bar next to the other boy.

Dougie shrugged slightly, “I have to be somewhere early tomorrow morning. I’d rather not be half-drunk or have a hangover.”

“Fair enough.” James said a few words to the barman before turning his attention back to his companion.

“What about you? Have you drunk since…?” Dougie trailed off, but they both knew what he meant. Since Matt got hit by the car; since James was too drunk to do any good in helping him survive the car hit.

“No,” James said simply. That was the end of that conversation. Dougie looked somewhat surprised as James handed over money for both their drinks. “So,” James asked casually, taking a sip of his coke. “Got yourself a boyfriend yet?”

Dougie inhaled some of his lemonade in shock. “Wh- What?” he stammered at James, while rubbing the sides of his nose furiously to help the stinging so down.

“What?” James asked innocently. They were still standing at the bar. Dougie was staring at him as if he’d just pronounced that he was the President of Iceland. “I was just curious, no need to give me that look…” He pretended to sulk for a moment, then faked realization, “Oh… Haven’t you told anyone?”

Dougie hid his face in his hands, “Oh, God…”

*****

“Danny’s funny when he’s drunk,” James commented with a giggle as he and Dougie walked up to his door.

“That’s nothing. You should see him when he’s high. All over the place, I’m telling you.” Dougie shrugged his shoulders, a small smirk curling the ends of his lips, “But thankfully he only tried that once…” He shook his head slightly, then grinned at James. “Okay. Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t try to cut us out again…”

James smiled, “I won’t. You have my word.” They stared at each other for a moment, then the younger of the two leaned in slowly and kissed the other gently. Within seconds, the blond had sunk into it, and pulled him close. The kiss was sweet and longing, but oddly undemanding.

Dougie finally pulled back, looking into James’ eyes for a few seconds before taking a step back. “Okay, I gotta go. See you later.” With that he was gone, walking away from the house. James stared after him. How could he do that? Kiss him like that then simply walk off.

“Evil teenage person…” James muttered, letting himself into the house. Then he realized why as his gaze fell on one of his pictures of Matt that he kept around the house. Of course. Dougie hadn’t wanted James to think that he was trying to rush him into something when he could still easily be mourning Matt. It startled James to work out that he hadn’t been thinking of Matt during the kiss. And, by kissing Dougie, he hadn’t felt as if he had been disgracing Matt’s memory. He’d wanted to do it.

*          *          *          *          *

Dougie flicked his way through a book, not really paying attention to the words on the page in front of him. He probably should’ve gone to bed by now, but he wasn’t tired. Danny seemed to be, however. The brunette was lying face down on the sofa beside the chair Dougie was occupying, and he was definitely snoring. The phone began to ring, and Danny screeched something incoherent and rolled off the sofa. Dougie flinched as he hit the floor with a thud, but this was promptly turned into a roll of the eyes when he heard that Danny was still snoring. Dougie chuckled lightly and picked up the phone, “Hello?”

“Dougie?”

“Oh, hey, James. What’s up?”

There was an audible sigh. “What d’you want, Dougie?”

Dougie glanced at Danny, who was still snoring peacefully from his spot face-down on the floor. “Honestly?” He could sense James nodding at the other end of the line. “I want you to consider going into another relationship. But I want you to think it through. Then I want you to get back to me. I want you to be honest with me, because I don’t want to drag you into something that you don’t want. I want to know how you feel, and if you tell me that you don’t want to go into anything, I don’t mind. It’s your choice.”

“Okay, I-”

“I want you to think about it carefully,” Dougie pressed. “Don’t tell me now.”

“Okay. Talk to you later.”

“Right. Bye.” Dougie put the phone down, only to realize, as he turned round, that Danny had rolled over and woken up, and was now staring up at him with dazed blue eyes, a grin on his face.

“Who was that?” His voice was still slurred.

Dougie bent down next to him, “That was James. We kissed earlier and now I want to know if he wants to go out with me.”

Danny snorted, “Yeah, right…” His eyes closed again and he slipped back into unconsciousness.

*****

James knelt in front of the grave he had come to know so well. Asking of him whether to go for the opportunity that life had placed in front of mean. Which basically meant James was asking Matt whether or not he should go with Dougie. He wanted to. He’d mourned long enough. And there would always be a place in his heart for Matt. The early morning wind swept past him, ruffling his already messy hair. And with that simple disturbance, he knew the answer to the question he’d been asking since he’d sank to the grass in front of the silent stone. He knew what he had to do.

*****

Danny rolled into the coffee table, and gave a moan of self-pity. How much did he have to drink last night…? He let out another loud moan as the doorbell went off. “Just another few minutes…” he mumbled. How did you turn off this thing? It rang again and he pulled himself to his feet and staggered out into the hallway, and towards the door. He swung it open and gave his eyes a quick rub so he could see who was standing there more clearly. “Oh. Hey, James. Do you know what time it is?”

“About half nine. Why?”

Danny didn’t answer properly, but groaned again. “I’m going to bed.”

James laughed lightly, “You do that. But first, is Dougie still here? Or has he left already?”

Danny though hard for a good few seconds, which really hurt. God! He must’ve killed about half his brain cells last night! “Sorry. I think he was meant to be there for nine.”

James nodded, sighing softly, “Okay. Can you tell him that I want to talk to him when he gets back?” Danny nodded; too busy being blinded by the sun to make a sarcastic comment about how he must have nothing better to do that pass on messages that had nothing to do with himself. He shut the door, and leaned against it for a moment. The look on James’ face flashed through his head. Anxiety, but with a certain eagerness and excitement, Danny noted as he headed upstairs. Dougie’s words from the previous night sounded in his brain, even though he had been too plastered to listen to Dougie’s tone of voice at the time.

“I want you to be honest with me, because I don’t want to drag you into something that you don’t want. I want to know how you feel, and if you tell me that you don’t want to go into anything, I don’t mind. It’s your choice.”

“I want you to think about it carefully. Don’t tell me now.”

“That was James. We kissed earlier and now I want to know if he wants to go out with me.”

Had Dougie sounded sincere? Had he been telling the truth without Danny realizing it? He clutched his head. It hurt to think. And any thoughts of Dougie and James were pushed to the back of his mind as he crawled into the comfort of his own bed.

*****

Dougie pressed his finger down on the doorbell. That was it; there was no going back now. He’d wanted to know how James felt, and he was going to find out. So why did he feel like he was about to be sick all over the welcome mat? The door opened and he was pulled inside, the door shutting behind him. He felt lips on his own and he responded eagerly. Then he pulled back, “James. You don’t have to do this… Not if you’re not ready…”

The blond stared at him for a moment, before looping an arm round his waist and pulling him close for another kiss. “I am ready. I wanted to do this. I’m sick of waiting for something that’s never going to happen. I want to live for now.” He smiled at Dougie coyly, “I want you.”