There were four shots.

~~~~~

“James?” I called, stepping into the quiet house. I dropped the keys onto the table next to the door and closed the door firmly. “Jay? You home?” When there was no reply, I frowned and headed through to the kitchen. Weird. We’d agreed to go out for dinner tonight to celebrate our two year anniversary. I was surprised he wasn’t already home getting dressed. We had to be there in half an hour. My gaze fell on a yellow post-it stuck to the counter top. I moved over to read what was written on it.

“Matt. Got caught up at work. Can’t make the dinner. Sorry. James.”

Short. Simple. Emotionless. No love, no passion. That depressed me to no end. Not only was he missing our dinner, which we’d had planned for months, he couldn’t even be the sweet, caring James I fell in love with when he told me so. He’s changed. I’d noticed it over the past few months. He was distant, almost moody. It was like I’d done something wrong but he didn’t want to tell me what. I hoped it would pass. As I stared down at the note with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, I hoped to God it would pass.

~~~~~

The first one was when you stood me up on our anniversary. That was the first shot- the one that caught my leg.

~~~~~

“You just can’t face the fact that I can do something better than you can,” I told James smugly.

“Oh, I can face the fact. If you can face the fact that cooking is the only thing you’re ever going to better me at.” Looking proud that he managed to get in the final say, he gave me a cheeky grin and started to stand up. However, I caught him round the waist and pulled him down into my lap. He squealed loudly, “Matt! Let me go!”

“Not until you take it back,” I responded, wrestling him easily onto the sofa cushions so I was holding him down.

“Take what back?” he asked innocently, widening his eyes as much as he could. “I don’t recall saying anything.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Oh, yeah?” I moved down and caught his mouth with mine, pleased when he responded eagerly. The hot sweetness that I encountered was overwhelming, and I began to toy with the hem of his t-shirt, but he shoved me off.

“Don’t, Matt.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I asked, alarmed by the pained look in his eyes.

“No. Just- Get off me.” He shoved me to the side and scrambled up off the sofa, before disappearing out the room. I heard the thuds as he ran upstairs, and the bang as he slammed the bedroom door behind him. I stared at the spot where he had been, even though it was clear he was no longer there. There it was again. That awkward attitude. The one he claimed he didn’t have. The one that was going to ruin us.

~~~~~

The second shot was fired the time you pushed me away. That shot sunk right into my shoulder.

~~~~~

I was home from work early. I didn’t call ahead. I wanted to surprise him. I knew he was working from home today. I let myself into the house quietly. It was silent. Except for a slight noise from upstairs, a deep throaty moan. I moved towards the stairs, and mounted them slowly. “I need you in me! I need-!” His pleas were cut off by a cry of pleasure. I drew level with our bedroom door.

“I can do better than he can any day,” a Welsh accented voice said. The door wasn’t shut properly, so I could hear him clearly.

James made an appreciative noise in the back of his throat. “You can, indeed. Now, show me again.” I reached out slowly and pushed the door open. The hallway was as dark as the room, itself, so they didn’t realise. My boyfriend was on the bed, naked, and he was pinning down Dave Williams.

Fury flashed through me. Was this why he had been so distant lately? How long had he been making love to other men in our bed? I swallowed back my rage and cleared my throat. “James,” I said, making sure my voice was loud and clear. “Could you keep it down, please? I’d rather not have a running commentary…”

~~~~~

The third shot occurred when you cheated on me with your band mate. That shot hit me fatally on the small of the back.

~~~~~

He stepped into the dark house cautiously. “Matt?” he called. “You wanted to see me?” I didn’t answer, just stayed where I was in the corner, watching him. “I can’t stay long, Matt,” he warned. “I have plans tonight.” His eyes ran over the shadows, searching for me.

“With Dave, by any chance?” I asked coldly. His gaze flicked onto me instantly.

“Yes.” Now he could see me, he shut the front door. He didn’t live here any more. He lived with Dave. He had done since I threw him out.

“How is Dave?” I asked conversationally.

“He’s good…” James replied. “Why are the lights off?”

“I have no immediate desire to see your face right now.” I could see it anyway, in the moonlight that flowed through the window next to the door, lighting his face and casting enough shadows to make him look like the hero out of a horror movie.

“Look, I said I was sorry. What more do you want?”

“I want two years of my life back,” I retorted. “Can you give me that, James?” I raised the object in my hand and held it in his direction.

“What’s that, Matt?” he asked, suddenly alert.

“It’s for you,” was all I said in response. He started forward. And I pressed down. A shudder went through me, and he froze. Then his knees buckled and he fell to the ground. His beautiful face pale, his clear eyes wide, a dark liquid staining the carpet.

~~~~~

The fourth shot was let off when you came to see me at my request. That shot penetrated your heart, and stayed there for eternity.